Over the weekend Jeremiah & I finally went to the pumpkin patch & picked out our pumpkins! I haven’t been blogging as much as I’d like to. It has been a difficult & stressful month for me. It takes so much convincing for me to get up in the morning, especially when I mentally don’t feel like my best self. I want to talk more about how I’ve been feeling & be open & honest especially when it comes to my mental health.
I’ve never truly been open & honest in regards to my mental health & how I genuinely feel about certain situations with family or friends. Lately, I’ve been feeling really out of place & lonely. I feel like “mental health”, “introversion”, “I-Need-My-Space-I-Am-Overwhelmed” kind of feelings are very taboo with the circles in my life. I finally had the courage to open up to my friends about how I was feeling about everything that has been weighing on me—introversion, anxiety, separation anxiety, being hyper sensitive, sense of belonging, etc. & it didn’t really bode over very well—& that made me feel even more alone than I was already feeling. Maybe it would be easier for me to talk with someone one-on-one so that no one’s interrupting someone else & points can get across. I don’t know…I can’t blame anyone for not understanding how I feel, especially when it comes to my deep introversion, social anxiety, or being socially overwhelmed. You can’t make non-introverts try to understand how an introvert & HSP feels.
I feel very alone in my educational space, in my friend space, & in my family space.
I’ve had a few conversations here & there with Jeremiah about seeing a therapist over the past 2 years or so, but I’ve never really considered it because I just never had the time. I’m trying not to feed into this feeling, this hollow emptiness again. I think it’s important for me to get help if I need it. I tried to open up with some friends, but since it did not work out very well, I hope seeing a therapist will be good for me.
Anyway, I apologize for this sad post. There’s so much more I would like to say about my introversion, my social anxiety, my mental health as of right now, but I don’t want to say anything else depressing or go into too much detail.
Here are some happy selfies on the way to the pumpkin patch 2 years ago 🎃 I will post some photos from this year’s pumpkin patch whenever I have the energy or chance to get to it. I’m trying my best to keep up with this blog, but I get so overwhelmed these days. I hope you all understand 🧡